Oh, I Don’t Think I Told You
I won the slap bet I mentioned back here. Expect to see Brandon getting his beard slapped off sometime this month.
The Danny DeVito Twitter Slap Bet: It’s On!
As many of you may have figured out by now, one of my favorite shows on television at the moment is How I Met Your Mother. There's several reasons I like it so much, but it's mainly because the show's writers have brought so many quality concepts to my life... Things like the Barney's Lemon Law of Dating (which may be invoked "if, at any point during the initial five minutes (300 seconds) of a first date, either party deems the union hopeless and elects to abort said date in the interest of time and/or self-respect"), The Bro Code, and, most importantly, the Slap Bet.
The Slap Bet is my personal favorite of the things that How I Met Your Mother has brought to my life. The rules of the slap bet are as follows (via TV Squad):
THE BILL OF SLAPS
1. A slap bet is created when two parties involved in a disagreement, argument, or difference of opinion mutually agree that whichever party is proven right (or winning party) gets to slap whichever party is proven wrong (or losing party) across the face as hard as they possibly can.
2. In all Slap Bets, a Slap Bet Commissioner must be appointed. In the event of a discrepancy, the Slap Bet Commissioner makes the final ruling. The Slap Bet Commissioner must be someone fair and unbiased, someone kind hearted but not afraid to rule with an iron wrist.
3. When issuing a slap, the slapper must avoid lips and noses at all costs. The goal is for the palm of the slapper's hand to connect with the meaty part of the slappee's cheek thus providing utmost enjoyment and pain. If you're seeing handprint on cheek, you're doing something right. In the event of a bloody nose, the Slap Bet Commissioner shall award the slappee three slaps to be used in succession. Suggestion: The Dead Man's slap (rule 8.)
4. When issuing a slap, the slapper must not wear any rings, gloves, or other finger/hand ornaments to protect the safety of the slappee.
5. When issuing a slap, the slapper must keep one foot on the ground at all times to protect the safety of the slappee.
6. In the event of Premature Slapulation, (when the slapper slaps the slappee as hard as he or she possibly can and then afterwards, finds out that the slap was not warranted), the slappee gets to slap the slapper at least three times.
7. The Blind Man Slap: If the Slap Bet Commissioner deems the slappee particularly deserving, the Slap Bet Commissioner can issue The Blind Man Slap in which the slappee must close their eyes while being slapped.
8. The Dead Man Slap: Backhanded slaps are permitted only if used in succession. For example, if the Slap Bet Commissioner awards the slapper multiple slaps, the slapper can use a backhand if and only if it's preceded by a forehand. This is commonly referred to as The Dead Man Slap and is the only existing slap that allows the slapper to connect with both sides of the slappee's face thereby earning maximum slappage.
9. When the slappee gets slapped, he/she must accept the fact that they've just got slapped. Any retaliation against the slapper, by the slappee, will result in no less than ten slaps (with a set number to be delivered by the Slap Bet Commissioner.)
10. The most important rule: Enjoy! Few things in this world match the sheer joy one receives from slapping a friend right across the face. Especially after being proven right. So slap away!
I bring this up because my ol' buddy Brandon, The Most Followed Non-Celebrity On Twitter and I have a little disagreement. See, Danny DeVito signed up for Twitter recently, but his account was not "verified," meaning we have no official ruling on whether or not it's actually him from the fine folks at Twitter. Verifying is handy, but I don't think I need any further proof of Mr. DeVito's Twitter account than his account picture:
Yep, that's a topless Danny DeVito, holding a sign that has his Twitter URL on it. Seems fair enough to me. But Brandon is thinking that while there's a 99.99% chance that it's him, you can never be too careful, so he's investigating. I say there's no chance it's not him, so I challenged Brandon to a slap bet, which he accepted.
So here's the deal: Brandon and I will both be carefully watching the internet to determine if the Twitter account in question is, in fact, Danny DeVito. When a winner is determined, Brandon and I shall meet up at a bar of both parties choosing, at which time copious amounts of alcohol will be purchased by the winner. Once the loser is inebriated, the slap will take place. All of this, of course, will be either recorded and put online later or live streamed for your viewing pleasure.
It's on, internet. Let's make slap bet magic.
The Great Tumblr Debate
Originally, this post was going to be titled something like "Brandon, You're An Idiot," but I thought that'd be starting things out a little too harshly.
See, Brandon, who happens to be one of my favorite people and closest friends, has yet another website he's running about an independent movie he's developing called My Pet Zombie. (No, I don't plan on mocking him for starting work on a zombie movie when I'm currently writing a zombie movie musical... Well, not yet, anyway.) He's got the site up on Tumblr, and, in it, posts about how Tumblr is the Staples "Easy Button" of web publishing. Let's pull right from the article, shall we?
When I think of Wordpress …
I think of something that has to be installed.
Something that requires an FTP program.
Something that takes some knowledge to get working.
Something that takes extensive knowledge to make effective.
Something that requires an investment at the start (hosting) … if you want to do things right.
Something that can be slow and cumbersome, particularly with each new update to the user interface.
Something that causes frustration when it doesn’t want to display your content properly, no matter what you do.
Something that requires additional costs for the best themes
If you’re busy. If you’re not skilled when it comes to editing CSS, HTML, PHP, and the rest of the alphabet soup. If you do not have a budget. Tumblr is for you.
Tumblr is the Staples “Easy” button for the web publishing world. This is where we should start.
Don’t ever spend money until you’re making it.
The only thing I agree with in here is that you shouldn't spend money until you're making it. As much as I love Brandon, and I do, the rest of this is complete and utter crap.
Let's start at the top and work down, shall we?
WordPress Requires An FTP Program/Knowledge To Get Working/Extensive Knowledge To Make Effective
Shenanigans. Out of the box, WordPress works fantastically. "Effective"? I don't know what Brandon is looking for his site to do, but I hit the 'New Post' button, type in a post, and hit 'Publish.' Not exactly rocket science, nor is it much different from how Tumblr works. If you're going to host it yourself, you do need an FTP program to install it, unless you use one of the many hosts that have one-click installs ready for you, taking any of the real work out of your hands.
Something That Requires An Investment If You Want It Done Right
Again, shenanigans. Want it for free? Sign up for a WordPress.com account and use that. Design templates are pre-installed, so you don't have to do crap with FTP programs or anything else.
Something That Can Be Slow And Cumbersome
I tried to use Tumblr to set up another domain I own, and it took forever to load and switch pages. Tumblr can be just as slow as WordPress, without question.
Something That Causes Frustration When It Doesn't Display Content Properly
Wanna know why I'm not using Tumblr to run that other page? Because I got insanely frustrated when it wouldn't display my content correctly.
Something That Requires Additional Cost For The Best Themes
Speaking of the same second site I'm using (that'd be TheeDThomas.com, by the by), I just chose a site design from BlogOhBlog.com that was free. It's just as easy to find a good site design for free for WordPress as it is to find one for Tumblr, and I'd argue that the pool of "good design" for Tumblr is much smaller than WordPress.
If You're Too Busy, Don't Have A Budget, Or Don't Speak In Computer Code, Tumblr Is For You... It's The Easy Button
Really? 'Cause I'm busy, I'm poor, and do speak in code, and I found Tumblr to be annoying to set up, ugly, and an all-around bad experience.
I think the best bet to settle this would be Brandon and I having a fistfight, but that's not likely to happen... Mainly 'cause we're on different ends of the state. Then again, you never know what we'll throw together, because we're both (a) crazy and (b) almost entirely lacking in personal lives. Of course, it'd be easier for us (and you!) to comment and let the internet know what you think.
What're you waiting for? Get to it, my friends. Internet argument, away!